Blackbird Singing in the Dead of Night
by SantaClaustrophobia
Summary: Cecilia Rigby, vampire and former student at Hogwarts, is asked to join the Order of the Phoenix. But can she confront her painful past? Full summary inside.
1. Our Story Begins

SUMMARY: Summary: Cecilia Rigby, vampire and former student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, is asked by Albus Dumbledore to join the Order of the Phoenix. She finds the offer hard to refuse when she sees it will reunite her with two of her old school friends, Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. Takes place before and during Harry's fifth year.

Disclaimer: I'm sad to say, I do notownany characters in thisstory except for the original character of Cecilia Rigby.

Enjoy and don't forget to review!  
_  
The girl waited till everyone was asleep. Once she was convinced that not a person remained awake in the dorm room, she quietly slipped out of bed and put a long cloak on over her nightclothes. With one last look around the room to make sure nobody had seen her, she turned around and walked down the steps and into the Gryffindor common room with a swish of velvet.  
Silent as a ghost, she walked around to the front of the squishy armchair facing the fire, to find James's invisibility cloak resting on its arm in a ball. She smiled. She knew James would come through for her. He always did. Slipping it on over her cloak, she exited the common room.  
Before she knew it, she was outside Hogwarts and walking in the Forbidden Forest. She knew she shouldn't be here. It was still so early! Although the full moon was still in the sky, it was slowly vanishing. But she neededa quiet place to be by herself andto just think. She had received the news only the previous morning that her father was dead, consumed by pneumonia. When she asked James that afternoon if she could borrow his invisibility cloak, he was more than willing to help her out. Letting grief finally overcome her, she threw off the cloak and wept openly. She never heard the rustling sound in the bushes. Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, she saw a dark shape rush out towards her, knocking her to the ground. __She didn't have time to scream as she felt a great pain as something pierced her neck. She blacked out.  
When she came to, a boy was standing over her, surrounded by three others. They talked hurriedly amongst themselves; her vision was so blurred that she couldn't make out their faces, but their voices sounded familiar. She felt strong arms lift her off the ground, and, overcome, the world went dark once again._

Cecilia Rigby, panting, sat up. She looked hurriedly around the room, her eyes darting from wall to wall. Convinced that she was in her small room and not in the middle of a forest, she breathed deeply. She had had that nightmare again.  
She got up, threw a terrycloth robe on, and walked to the window. Gingerly pushing aside the heavy black curtain, she was relieved to find that the sun had just set. She sat down again on the small, rather uncomfortable bed, her head in her hands. She fervently wished to stop having that dream.  
Cecilia sighed and stood up after she was sufficiently calmed. She glanced around at her new home. She had just moved in this morning. There were boxes stacked in every corner of the room, and various clothing and knickknacks were scattered about on the floor. You could barely call this cramped, molding, one-room place a hotel room, but it was the best she could find that would offer her the degree of privacy she required. _It's more than I deserve_, she thought bitterly.  
She had only taken a few steps when she was across the room, standing in front of her prized possession, an ornate, 18th century English dresser. She rummaged inside one of the drawers and managed to throw together an outfit- a kind of bohemian-looking white blouse, long black skirt, and, after searching through a box at the foot of the bed, a pair of black pumps. She threw on the clothes, grabbed a hairbrush, and gave her hair a hearty tug. After a few more, it was tangle-free and, as she glanced in a mirror encased in a beautifully gilded frame thathung above her dresser, quite shiny.  
Cecilia found her mind wandering back to the dream. Why had she been having it so frequently now? After a good fifteen years of NOT having it, too. She paused, taking a good look at herself in the mirror. She saw the pale-complexioned, ruby-lipped, black-haired reflection of a fourteen year old girl staring back at her. She swallowed uneasily.  
For Cecilia, that nightmare had not just been a dream. It was the painful remembrance of what had happened when she was fourteen years old and in the fourth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. When she had dared, her sanity almost shattered by grief, to venture into the Forbidden Forest slightly before the sun would rise. Where something had happened to trap her in the body of a fourteen year old girl forever.  
On that fateful night, Cecilia Angelique Rigby had been turned into a vampire. As if that was not bad enough, she never found out exactly who it was that had done it to her. For many months after her recovery, she was paranoid and frightened around everyone she talked to, afraid that one of them had intended to kill her.  
Except for the five who were her best friends. She knew that they would never try to hurt her. They WERE her best friends, after all, and they stayed her best friends for a long time. Reminiscing, losing herself in the past that was so much more comfortable than her miserable existence now, she was startled by a knock at the door. She looked at the clock to find that it was almost midnight. Time simply flies when you're undead, she thought sarcastically.  
Opening the door cautiously, a grin broke out across her face as she saw who stood in the dimly lit, dingy hallway.  
"Hello, Albus. What a pleasant surprise."


	2. A Very Old Friend

Author's Note- I'm very sorry I haven't added a new chapter in such a long time...honestly, I was planning to!I worked really hard on this story, so if you can just take the time, please review. Thanks and enjoy!

CHAPTER 2: A VERY OLD FRIEND

Albus Dumbledore bustled inside the small room, his deep black cloak swishing around him. A smile almost as big as Cecilia's played its way through his beard.

"Ah, Cecilia. It's wonderful to see you again."

Cecilia could hardly restrain herself at the sight of her old friend. She stood on her tiptoes and gave the man a great hug.

"Likewise, Albus." She surveyed him with her eyes. "My, you haven't changed a bit."

"I could say the same of you," he replied quite seriously. He looked the girl over. She did look the same as she was when she left, but he could tell that, on the inside, she had changed a great deal since the last time he saw her. The merry, jovial look she often had in her eyes, he could see, was replaced with a hollow, expressionless void.

"Yes, I'm sure you could." Cecilia's face hardened for a second, barely long enough for Albus to realize it was there, but just as quickly, it was gone, its remnants replaced by her gigantic smile. "I've missed you terribly."

"I know." A quick look of regret passed through Dumbledore's eyes. "Many of us have missed you too."

"I-I'm sure," she whispered, almost to herself, before turning her gaze back to Albus. "When did you find out I'd returned?"

"The second you entered London," Albus said.

"I'm not even going to ask how you knew. You truly don't miss a beat, do you?" Albus's response was a small mischievous smile. Changing the subject, she said, "I apologize for the mess. I only just started putting things away last night. It was bloody hard to get a room here. You should've seen all those clerks out there, convinced that I had run away from home, trying to get me to tell them who my mother or father was. It was almost impossible to get them to invite me in. I had to sit outside for nearly a half hour before they pitied me enough to let me have this room, although they were very skeptical as to how I was going to pay." As she spoke, she was suddenly aware of how messy the room was, and she felt oddly self-conscious of it. She bustled around, putting things away.

Dumbledore chuckled slightly. "Yes, I expected they would be. Why didn't you ask me? I could've gotten you a much more comfortable room in Diagon Alley."

"I didn't think I was quite ready for Diagon Alley yet." She took a rather shaky breath, and Dumbledore, not wanting to press her to speak, stayed quiet. "Oh, Albus!" she said suddenly. "I'm being rude. Would you like to sit down?"

"I would like that very much."

Cecilia pulled an uncomfortable-looking wooden chair out of a corner, dusted it off with her hand, and set it near the middle of the room. Albus sat down, and Cecilia sat down opposite him on the bed.

"I'm sorry about the chair, but, so far, it's all I have," Cecilia laughed.

"That is quite all right." Dumbledore smiled.

The room was silent again for a few moments, until Cecilia spoke. "Albus?"

"Yes, Cecilia?"

"Surely you've come to find out how I'm doing, am I correct?"

"That's part of the reason, yes."

"I must say", Cecilia said, jumping at the chance to say what had been on her mind for a long time now, "I'm quite surprised at you. I would've thought that after the tenth year, you would've at least tried to contact me," Cecilia said.

"Well, Cecilia, I knew that, as much as it hurt me to let you go, you needed to just...be alone. To try and stop the pain that had...that had finally consumed you. And if it took you fifteen years to do that, than there would be nothing I could do to persuade you to otherwise. You were so convinced that isolating yourself from all of wizardkind was the best thing for you." He leaned backwards in his chair. "Besides all that, I knew you didn't want me to anyway. Am I correct?"

"Yes. Yes, you are. You always are, Albus." Cecilia couldn't repress another grin. "My God, I haven't smiled this much in longer than I can remember. My mouth hurts!"

Dumbledore chuckled quietly. Then he spoke. "I could ask you many things right now, but I'll only say the most important one- truly, how are you? I've been wondering for a very long time now."

Cecilia was silent. "I- I feel better now, Albus. I just needed to get away from everything. I felt like I was being pulled into a sort of hole I couldn't escape from. I had been struggling with the fact I was a vampire ever since I was turned into one, and that compounded with James and Lily's death and...well, you know everything else that happened; it was so much more than I could bear. So I just had no choice but to pick up my life and get away from the wizarding world for a while."

"You did have a choice, Cecilia. You always had a choice," Albus responded.

"I know. But at the time I didn't realize that. I was younger and more naive. You know how young adults can be, Albus. So sure that they're the only one in the world having problems, looking for the easiest way to escape them. I'm happy that I did it, but at the same time I'm devastated." She leaned back against the wall, her head resting against it. "Getting away from everyone and everything I knew helped to heal me. It made me forget, and that was bliss. But that feeling was a blessing and a curse. I never truly thought at the time about the ramifications of my suddenly picking up and leaving without a word to anyone except for you. The biggest thing I regret is not seeing Harry grow up. I-" Her eyes filled with tears suddenly and she had to stop. When she regained her voice, she whispered, "How is he, Albus? How is he doing?"

"He's as normal as we could ever have hoped him to be under the circumstances," he said gently.

"How old is he?" she asked, wiping her eyes daintily with her finger.

"He'll be sixteen in a month," he replied.

"Wow...sixteen already," Cecilia murmured.

"Yes, and he looks exactly like James." Dumbledore smiled slightly, then paused and adjusted his glasses. "Cecilia, he's come face-to-face with Voldemort four times now."

She gave a very visible jump, practically falling off her chair. "He WHAT? Voldemort's back? How can he...it's not possible!"

"You know it is and was," Dumbledore responded quietly. "I told you that there was a high possibility that he could. And he did. He confronted Harry in his first year at Hogwarts."

"Oh my God...and Harry's fine? He's all right?" she asked worriedly.

"Yes, Harry is perfectly fine."

"Please, Albus, tell me more about Harry. What have I missed? Albus-" she stopped suddenly. "I presume he doesn't know I exist?"

"No, he doesn't. However, he does know about Sirius. Cecilia, Sirius escaped from Azkaban two years ago, and Harry happened to overhear the fact that Sirius was his godfather."

The vampire's eyes visibly widened. "O-oh," she said rather shakily. "Did the...did the dementors catch him?"

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "No, they didn't. Right now, Sirius is residing in a hidden location, and that is where we want him to stay."

"WHAT, ALBUS?!" Cecilia, practically exploding with rage, stood up, her hands balled into fists. She was an imposing figure, although a good foot shorter than Albus. "HOW CAN YOU EVEN SAY THAT, AFTER HE-"

"Sirius is innocent, Cecilia, and I know that in your heart you know this. Peter is the man who betrayed James and Lily. He is currently with Voldemort now."

Cecilia's voice caught in her throat as she fell back to the bed. "It was- it was Peter? Peter's dead, Albus. There's no way-"

"Peter is not dead. He faked his own death by transforming into a rat and posing as the pet of one of my students at Hogwarts. He blamed Sirius for everything to save himself." Suddenly Albus sounded very old indeed, older than his already ancient years.

Cecilia's eyes widened and she found she couldn't speak, sitting in silence for what felt like hours. Dumbledore simply stared at her, knowing he couldn't fathom what was going through her mind.

"My- my God, Albus. Are you absolutely sure? How long have you known?"

"For about two years now," he replied.

"Wh-why didn't you tell me before now?"

"I knew that wasn't what you wanted to hear. After that day, you were so convinced Sirius was the villain."

"Albus, please, I don't want to talk about Sirius anymore," she said, her voice breaking, twirling a piece of her long dark hair around her finger.

"As you wish, Cecilia," Albus said. When she made no motion to speak, Dumbledore jumped in. "I have a proposition for you."

Cecilia raised one eyebrow. "Oh really?"

"Yes." He leaned back in his chair and pressed his fingertips together. "The Order of the Phoenix has reconvened." When Cecilia didn't say anything, he pressed on. "To be very blunt, I would like you to become a member. We could truly use you."

"How could you use me?"

"Well, Cecilia, the fact that you cannot die is quite a plus. Nobody would suspect you of anything suspicious, being as you look like a helpless child. It would be a great asset to the Order if you were able to work for us."

The girl leaned forward. "But, Albus, there's the little hitch of Voldemort knowing who I am. If he were to ever find out I was still alive, he would most likely try to extract information from me. He knows I have close associations with you and everyone else who opposes him....oh my goodness!" she said, visibly jumping. "I've totally forgotten about Remus! How is he?"

Dumbledore gave a small smile. "He is doing fine. He has been able to cope quite well with his condition. And he's missed you very much all these years."

Cecilia's eyes filled with tears. "Really?"

"Yes. Cecilia, I'm sorry if I sound rude, but I must finish talking to you about the Order, and I am very pressed for time."

"Oh, yes, I totally understand." She hurriedly wiped her eyes. "Please continue."

"Thank you. I am well aware that if Voldemort were to find out you were alive, the consequences would be astronomical. That is why we have a safehouse, if you will, for you. You would be able to stay there on an almost-permanent basis, leaving pretty much only to hunt, and we would be able to keep you busy there."

Cecilia seemed deep in thought, staring at her feet. "I don't think I can do it, Albus. There's just no way. It would be...it would be just like the old times, when things were...different than they are now. I wouldn't be able to handle it." Dumbledore saw that her eyes had traveled backwards in time, seeing scenes invisible and unknown to him.

"There is a way, Cecilia. You would be able to see Remus, Alastor Moody, and, most likely, Harry."

She looked up suddenly. "I'd be able to see Harry?"

"Yes, you would be, although to be honest, I don't know how often."

"Do you need my answer now, Albus?"

"Yes, that would be preferable."

The girl seemed like she was going to say no, but then she stopped. "Well...then...I...I think I will. For Harry."

"If you would rather him not know who you were, then I will not tell him, Cecilia."

"That would be wonderful. Thank you. It's better for both of us."

"Now" Albus stood up, "I really think I must be leaving. I'm very grateful for your help. I will come retrieve you to take you to headquarters in three days time, all right?"

"All right."

Cecilia stood up also and escorted Albus to the door. "It was so wonderful to see you again," she said.

Now it was Albus's turn to hug her. "Likewise, and you will assuredly see much more of me. Good-bye."

He disapparated soundlessly. "Good-bye," the girl whispered.


	3. Towards the Unknown

Just take a second to read and review, please! Thanks!

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters in this story except for Cecilia Rigby, who is my own creation.

Rated PG-13 for language and later sexual content.

* * *

Cecilia stood outside in the warm night air, wearing a light jacket, various bags and boxes scattered around her on the steps of the hotel. It was exactly three days after her reunion with Albus. When she had told the hotel manager that she was leaving, he looked quite relieved. He had probably been nervous that, unknowingly, he was aiding a runaway. Cecilia smiled. 

She was still slightly apprehensive about joining the Order. Seeing all her old friends again for the first time in almost fifteen years would prove taxing. She would most likely face a lot of questions that she would not be looking forward to answering. Cecilia sighed and tried not to think about it too much.

She had been waiting no longer than five minutes when she saw a black sedan roll slowly up in front of her and stop. Albus immediately got out of the passenger side door, a stocky, red-haired man did the same from the driver's seat, and Remus, darling Remus, from the back. He saw her and grinned broadly.

"REMUS!" she squealed, dropping unceremoniously the totebag she had been carrying, and ran over to him, flinging herself in his arms.

Remus hugged her back. "Hello, Cecilia," he whispered.

Cecilia could not suppress the smile creeping along her face. "Let me get a good look at you!"

She let go and stepped back, surveying his features. To say that he aged much faster than those fifteen years she had been gone was an understatement. He had wrinkles lining his face, his robe was patched and worn in many places, and she could see a few grey hairs. He had changed so much...what had happened to him?

"How...how old you look, Remus," she whispered tactfully, her voice full of emotion, a frown replacing the smile.

"It's been a long time," he answered.

Albus, who had been standing by patiently with Arthur while she talked with her old friend, said, "I'm sorry about having to come in an automobile, but we needed to present ourselves here as inconspicuously as possible. We'll come back for the rest of your things in a little bit. Once we get you settled in at headquarters." He glanced over at Arthur. "Arthur, let me introduce you to Cecilia Rigby. Cecilia, this is Arthur Weasley. He, too, works for the Order."

"Nice to meet you," Arthur said, a warm smile on his face as he walked over and shook her hand. He quickly grabbed two of her bags, and Remus and Cecilia, following suit, did the same. Putting them in the trunk, they all got in the car, Cecilia sitting next to Remus in the back. The ride was quite uncomfortable, neither of them knowing what to say to each other. She wondered if Arthur even knew that she was a vampire. She wiped her mouth discreetly. Did she still have blood there from her last kill, only an hour ago?

They had been driving for about fifteen minutes when Cecilia started to sob quietly. She could read the emotions of those around her as easily as a book, and she found that Arthur, embarrassed, pretended not to notice. Albus did too, but for a different reason. She assumed it was because he knew she didn't want him to. He knew her so well it slightly scared her. Remus, however, turned to her, and at that moment, Cecilia felt a wave of sadness radiating from him wash over her, a sadness that almost matched her own.

"What is it?" he asked gently, taking her hands in his.

"Several different things pain me," she whispered. "Being so near you reminds me of the old days- the ones when James and Lily were still alive." Her voice caught in her throat for a second. "And, I'm just so shocked by how different you look. It hurts me that you're in so much pain, I can feel it. I've missed so much, and I'll never be able to make it up to anyone. I missed it all willingly, too! I was so caught up in myself, and...and my own problems that I practically forgot about the ones that meant the most to me. Like you. I'm so sorry." She looked up. Remus was silently crying. "Remus?"

"Yes?" he said.

"I assume that Heather is-?"

"She's dead, Cecilia. She died about a year and a half after you left. From the cancer."

"I'm so sorry, Remus. She was such a wonderful woman."

"I know."

They rode the rest of the way in total silence. After what felt like hours (to everyone else at least; for Cecilia, hours felt like minutes when nothing was happening), they drove up a small street and stopped in front of a house. Getting out, Cecilia whispered to Albus, "Where's headquarters?"  
"Shhh," he admonished softly. Arthur handed her a piece of paper. "Read this aloud."

"The headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix are located at Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, London," she read. The address sounded slightly familiar. Where had she heard it before? Perhaps-  
But before she could finish her thought, she was amazed to see a house that suddenly appeared out of nowhere, squeezing in between the ones on either side of it. She gasped slightly. Albus promptly made the piece of paper disappear in a puff of smoke. He gently pushed her towards the door. Remus got there first, and he knocked. The large wooden door opened quickly, revealing a red-haired woman standing in the foyer. She broadly smiled as she saw Cecilia.

"Cecilia, this is my wife, Molly," Arthur introduced.

"It's terribly nice to meet you, Cecilia," she murmured as she ushered them briskly inside. "Welcome to headquarters."


	4. Reunited

I think this is my favorite chapter so far, so read, review, and enjoy!

Disclaimer: Once again, I own nobody but Cecilia. I dostill wish I owned Sirius, though...

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Cecilia smiled at Molly as she walked slowly into the foyer, surveying its lofty ceiling with her eyes. It was a small, dark place. She could see a staircase in front of her, going upwards towards a hallway. Suddenly, she froze, standing as still as a statue, her eyes wide. Albus looked at her quizzically. 

"What's wrong, Cecilia?

Cecilia sniffed slightly, catching a familiar scent in the air. _Oh, God, _she thought. _Please God, no! _"He's here, Albus. You didn't tell me that he was here too!" She began to panic slightly. "Albus!"

"You have to face him. You must. It's time."

Albus gently took her shoulder and led her to the right, through a doorway, with Remus and Arthur trailing behind.

Walking inside, she smelled food. _A kitchen_, she thought, as she looked around, taking in her surroundings. She found the familiar faces of Severus Snape (who looked positiviely livid at seeing her), Alastor Moody, and...oh God.

Sirius.

"Cecilia," he breathed. Although he was across the room, leaning against the opposite wall, she heard him as clearly as if he had been standing right next to her. He was surprised, she could tell. Obviously, nobody had told him she was coming. Most likely to keep him from flying into a rage. She wouldn't be surprised if he hated her. Not at all.

At that moment, she was distracted by Alastor walking over and shaking her hand. "Hello again, Cecilia." She saw that strange eye rotating in his socket. Ugh.

"Hello, Alastor."

All the new faces seated at the table whispered among themselves, quite confused by the presence of a fourteen year-old girl (or so they thought). Her old friends crowded in front of her, hugging her or giving her hand a vigorous shake, but she was no longer paying attention. She kept her eyes on Sirius, who was simply staring at her. She noticed how different he was physically. He no longer had the boyish good looks of fifteen years ago. He was still handsome, but in a way marred by unknown forces. His dark hair, now long and unkempt, hung in his face, and his clothes left much to be desired. How had so much changed since she had left? What had he faced in Azkaban? Her heart sank in her chest.

"Attention, please, everyone." Albus stepped up next to her, clearing his throat. Everyone immediately fell silent. Remus walked to the other side of her, putting his hand on her shoulder. Cecilia looked at the ground, feeling Sirius's eyes still upon her.

"For those of you who were not a member of the Order of the Phoenix fifteen years ago, this is Cecilia Rigby, quite an old friend of mine. Cecilia is a vampire."

Immediately, pandemonium ensued.

"A VAMPIRE?" Molly shrieked, immediately grabbing her husband's arm. Arthur's eyes were wide. Her old friends seemed mildly amused, while those she did not know, of which there were many, gasped and talked loudly to one another. They'd obviously never dealt with vampires before.

Cecilia hastily looked at Remus and Albus. "Did neither one of you tell these people I was a vampire?"

Remus, looking quite abashed, shook his head and stared at his feet.

"Did any of you feel that that MIGHT be something these people would need to know?" When neither one of them answered, Cecilia rolled her eyes.

Albus spoke up. "Please, everyone. Calm down." Everybody immediately stopped talking, although many continued to throw her wary glances.

The old man continued. "Cecilia would not be here if I thought she would harm any of us. As I said before, she is an old friend of many of us in the room, including myself, and she is quite a lovely person." Cecilia chanced a look back at Sirius. His eyes were now narrowed, never straying from her face. "She is not actually fourteen years old. However, she was bitten when she was fourteen and so this the form that she will keep for her rest of her life. In all actuality, Cecilia is the same age as Remus and Sirius. She has decided to join the Order of the Phoenix, and help us as much as possible. Because Voldemort does know that she has connections with me and most of the people here, she will be living here on a permanent basis, where it will be much easier to keep an eye on her."

Sirius's eyes widened as he and Cecilia yelled in unison, "WHAT?"

Albus, his gaze never wavering, stared at Cecilia. "You will be staying here." Then he turned his stare to Sirius. "With you."

Sirius stopped leaning on the wall, anger flaring in his eyes, his face livid with rage. He measured his words. Speaking in a deadly quiet voice, he said, "I refuse to share a house with her. I will not. There is absolutely no way."

Cecilia tried to speak. "Please, Sirius-"

"DON'T YOU EVEN SPEAK TO ME!" he yelled. Cecilia flinched. "HOW DARE YOU THINK THAT YOU CAN EVEN SAY ONE WORD TO ME, AFTER EVERYTHING YOU'VE PUT ME THROUGH!" He trembled with rage. "YOU LEFT ME IN AZKABAN. YOU LEFT US ALL! THEN YOU COME BACK ALL OF A SUDDEN AND THINK THAT YOU CAN JUST MOVE IN HERE WITH ME?! HOW STUPID DO YOU THINK I AM?"

His temper spent, he took a deep breath and whispered, "You cannot stay here. I refuse to even look at you. I don't know where else you can go. You can go to hell for all I care. It's where you deserve to be." He walked swiftly out of the room, forcefully hitting Cecilia on the way out, knocking her to the floor. Everyone was absolutely bewildered and scared, except for the few who looked at Cecilia sympathetically. Remus hurried to help Cecilia off the floor, and, making sure she was all right, turned to speak quickly with Albus, the two of them wearing worried expressions on their faces.

Cecilia felt like she was going to cry, and she couldn't stop the tears welling in her eyes. It hurt her that he was so angry with her, and it hurt her even more that she knew he had every reason to be. She was embarrassed by everyone staring at her. Severus was simply smirking. She hated him so much. A tear leaked out of her eye.

"Cecilia," Albus whispered gently, turning towards her. "It's all right. Remus is going to talk to Sirius, and you're going to stay here. Do you understand?"

Cecilia nodded, unable to speak as Arthur hurried to retrieve her bags and take them upstairs.


	5. His Decision

Chapter 5 is up, guys! Yay! I really appreciate S. Nicolai's review- now at least I have a bit of reassurance that me and my one friend aren't the only ones reading this. So, read this one, enjoy, and review!

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The room was oddly quiet as Cecilia managed to find a seat at the large table and sat down. Most were whispering among themselves in hushed voices, sending fervent glances at her every now and then. She sighed. She hadn't been expecting to see Sirius tonight, and therefore had prepared nothing to say in her defense. She, however, HAD expected that whenever she would EVENTUALLY see him, he would be angry. _That was kind of an understatement, wasn't it?_ she thought bitterly to herself. 

She glanced over at Albus, who was carrying on a conversation with a young witch with bright purple hair. Cecilia wanted to start screaming at him. There was Albus, having a perfectly smashing time, while she wanted to die and everyone avoided her like a dog carrying rabies. Severus was still seated and seemed to enjoy making her as uncomfortable as possible by staring at her and smirking.

At that moment, a teenage witch and wizard walked in the room- the witch with long, bushy brown hair; and the wizard with freckles and flaming red hair, like Arthur. _Must be his son_, she thought. The girl caught sight of her and her face lit up. She strode briskly toward Cecilia, the boy following, somewhat reluctantly, behind.

"Hello!" the young witch said enthusiastically, and immediately started speaking a-mile-a-minute. "My name is Hermione Granger, and this here is Ron Weasley. His father is Arthur Weasley, right over there." She pointed. "Sirius just came stomping up the steps a few minutes again, and Lupin told us that we would be better off down here for a little bit. I'm glad we came down, because it's nice to see another person our age around here. Ron and I'll be entering our fifth year of Hogwarts soon, along with our best friend Harry Potter. I assume you are, too?" Hermione paused for breath, and Cecilia took the opportunity to interject. She wasn't concerned at the moment about the children thinking that she was their age, but the girl had just mentioned Harry!

"You know Harry Potter?" she breathed excitedly.

"Yes," Hermione said quizzically. "Why?"

Cecilia was just about to open her mouth when Albus, noticing that Hermione and Ron had found Cecilia, walked over.

"Hermione, Ron, this is Cecilia Rigby. She has just recently joined the Order."

Ron spoke. "But, Professor, Cecilia's only our age! How can she be in the Order?"

Before Cecilia could stop him, Albus said, "She is a vampire, Ron. She looks to be fourteen, because that's the age she was bitten, but she is actually the same age as Remus." Cecilia felt her cheeks grow red. She chanced a glance up at the two children to find that Ron had turned whiter than a ghost, making his freckles even more visible, while Hermione had a broad grin on her face, her eyes sparkling madly. She turned and started to pull a chair next to Cecilia.

"I'm afraid I must be leaving." Albus announced to the three. Before turning away, he gripped Cecilia's shoulder and leaned down to whisper in her ear, "Remus will get everything sorted out. You will live here for as long as possible, and Sirius will just have to understand that he has no other choice but to tolerate you. Remus will take you to get the rest of your things tomorrow, all right?" Cecilia nodded silently and hugged Albus, whispering back, "Thank you." Albus smiled, bid Ron and Hermione farewell, and promptly disapparated.

"So!" Hermione stated brightly. "You're a vampire? That's fascinating!"

_Not really,_ she thought. _For you, maybe. _Cecilia managed to smile. "Yes," she said.

"I've read a lot about vampires, but I've never actually met one. Can I ask you a few questions?"

"Uh...sure," Cecilia responded uncertainly.

"Well, is it true that sunlight is fatal to you?"

"Yes," she said.

"What about candlelight? Or electric Muggle lighting?" Hermione asked.

"No. Just sunlight."

"And do you sleep in a coffin?"

"Not at all. I don't know where I would manage to find one, anyway," Cecilia said, amused.

"Can you see your reflection in mirrors? Can you cross over water? Do you need to be invited into a house in order to enter it? Do you-"

"Hold on just a second, Hermione," Cecilia said. "First of all, I can see my reflection in mirrors. I don't know why I wouldn't be able to. I'm not a ghost. Yes, I can cross over water. I actually quite enjoy sitting on bridges. And yes, I need to be invited into a house before I can come in."

"Does anything happen to you if you come into a house uninvited?"

"Well, that's just the thing. I physically CAN'T get into a house uninvited. Trying to walk in through the doorway is like trying to walk through a brick wall. Impossible. And before you ask, I love garlic, I can't turn into sand or a bat, crucifixes have no effect on me whatsoever, and I need to drink blood to survive." She looked over to the doorway. No sign of Remus or Sirius. What was taking them so long? She had certainly underestimated how mad Sirius was at her.

"Wow," Ron gaped. "Do you still have to use the bathroom?"

"No, I don't. Technically, I am a walking corpse. My hair does not grow, nor do my fingernails, or any part of me. Oddly, I can cry though." _I've done it often enough to know that_, she thought.

"If you don't mind me asking," Hermione chanced, "why did you just decide to join the Order now? Was Sirius mad at YOU just a little bit ago?"

Before Cecilia could say anything, she sensed Remus entering the room, and turned towards him.

"Cecilia, could I have a word?" he asked.

"Of course." she replied, getting out of her chair. "Excuse us, children." They walked out into the foyer and Remus looked at her anxiously.

"Well, I've talked to Sirius. He's very unhappy about you staying here. Quite unhappy. But, however mad he is, he does understand that you need somewhere to stay, so he gave his consent about you residing here. However, he said that-" he faltered, "-that he does not wish to talk to you or see you at all." He sighed. "And I said that would be fine, and that he didn't have to until he absolutely wants to." Cecilia bowed her head sadly. "It's the only way, Cecilia. He wouldn't let you be here otherwise. And we need you right now. We can't lose you." He took her hands in his, looking down slightly so he could look her right in the eye.

Cecilia smiled slightly and, not quite tall enough to lay her head on his shoulder, decided to put it on his chest instead. He wrapped his arms around her, and they stayed like that for a while, just the two of them; two friends who had missed each other greatly for fifteen years.


	6. An Unexpected Letter

Disclaimer: Again, Iown nobody but Cecilia, yadda yadda yadda...

A/N: Sorry it took me so long to update! I've been hitting severe writer's block with Chapter 7, but as soon as I'm done with that chapter, it will be on here, I swear!

As usual, read and review!

* * *

Cecilia woke up the next evening around 8 o'clock, when the light outside was almost done fading from the sky. Remus had found her an unused room early that morning that he was fairly certain was not inhabited by any doxies or boggarts. She could tell he was very tired, having carried her bags into this room at about 5 o'clock in the morning, and she told him several times he needn't have stayed up the entire night just to make sure she was all right. She sighed deeply, rolling over onto her side on the dusty bed. She was NOT looking forward to spending the day avoiding Sirius. She so desperately wanted to talk to him, to tell him how sorry she was about everything that had happened, but she had the feeling he didn't want to listen to her at the moment. One of Sirius's more unfortunate characteristics was the fact that he could hold a grudge longer than anyone she had ever known.

She got out of the bed and scanned the walls quickly, searching for a mirror. Having found one in the corner opposite her, she walked over to find thatthe black clothes she had slept in that night were almost brown with dust. Rolling her eyes, she walked over to one of the bags Remus had put at the foot of the bed and changed into a short-sleeved red blouse, a knee-length black skirt, and flat red shoes. Tentatively opening the door, she peeked her head into the hallway and surveyed it. Now she realized why this house seemed so familiar- she had been here long ago. Sirius had invited her here for Christmas, she believed, the last year he had lived here, which was perhaps in theirthird year in Hogwarts?She didn't remember anymore. She tiptoed down the hall and heard voices as she got closer to the stairs. Descending them, she saw that the door to the kitchen was slightly open, and, looking through the crack, saw about ten people gathered for a late dinner, among them Arthur, Albus, Remus and...Sirius. She wanted desperately to go in and join them, but she knew that she would probably end up sitting around uncomfortably while the rest gorged themselves on mortal foods. Besides, she didn't want to be around Sirius at the moment. She grimaced. Time to hunt.

She silently opened the large door to the outside, briefly wondering how she was supposed to get back in. She shut it behind her and walked quickly down the street, glancing behind her to find that the house had disappeared. _Great_, she thought sarcastically. Cecilia found a dark alleyway only a few blocks away and looked around, her eyes darting from corner to corner, easily able to see in the dim light, until they rested on a black stray cat playing with a dirty paper cup about five yards from her. It's fur was matted withgrime and it looked like it hadn't had a decent meal in a month, but it would have to do. She was on thin ice enough as it was, walking around alone outside at night unprotected (although it was necessary), and easily connected to the Order if found by a Death Eater. Killing a human or wizard would be unwise at this point. She wove in between the shadows, so stealthily that the cat could neither see nor hear her, and, finding the right moment, pounced. She grabbed the cat and sunk her elongated canine teeth into its neck, not even giving it a chance to make a sound. Within seconds it had stopped struggling and lay limp; dead. Cecilia drained it completely and tossed it to the side, wiping her mouth. It was enough to satiate her hunger till tomorrow night. She brushed the fur off her shirt and proceeded back up the street to Number 12, Grimmauld Place.

Luckily, the house seemed to have remembered her and reappeared when she came near. She entered and closed the door behind her. Turning around, she took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen.

As she opened the door, all eyes turned to her and a heavy silence fell. Albus smiled at her encouragingly and Remus patted an empty seat next to him, motioning for her to sit down.

"Where were you?" Remus asked. "I saw you leave."

"Oh, I was-" she lowered her voice, "I was out hunting."

"All right," Remus replied. "From now on, just let someone know when you're leaving. You're still far from being safe."

Cecilia nodded and turned again towards the table. Some talking had started up again. She looked at Sirius out of the corner of her eye to find that he was completely ignoring her, conversing with Hermione and Ron, who were also at the table. Hermione noticed Cecilia gazing at him and looked at her questioningly, but Cecilia quickly turned her head. She didn't know what to do, so she tried to strike up a conversation with Remus.

"So we're going to get the rest of my bags today?" she asked.

"Yes. You can still get in the hotel, right?"

"Of course. You seem to have forgotten, but once I'm invited into a place, I can get in anytime afterwards _without_ being invited," Cecilia chided.

"That's right. My goodness, it's definitely been-" Remus was interrupted when an owl soared into the room, dropped a letter into the lap of Arthur Weasley, and promptly vanished.

"How the hell did that bloody bird get in here?" Cecilia questioned Remus. But Remus,seemingly unconcerned as to how an owl got into an unplottable house,was not paying attention,staring intently at the letter.

"That's from the Ministry of Magic, Arthur," he said, leaning across the table and reading the seal. "Open it."

Arthur did, hesitantly, muttering, "Why would they want me now?" under his breath. He pulled a letter out of the envelope and began reading. Suddenly, his face paled and his eyes widened. "Oh, dear God," he whispered.

Albus was starting to look concerned. "What is it?"

Arthur looked up at them all, his breathing heavy. "The Ministry says that Harry-" he paused to collect his breath again, "Harry is being expelled from Hogwarts and they're taking his wand away because he performed magic, his second offense, they add, outside of school."

There was a collective gasp around the room as Albus stood up. "What!" he said, seemingly not daring to believe the contents of the letter. Cecilia looked at Sirius, who was staring wide-eyed at Arthur.

"They said," Arthur stated, setting down the letter. "They said he performed a...a Patronus charm, which means-"

"Dementors," Remus whispered, staring straight ahead. Cecilia gasped.

"Harry had to face Dementors? On Privet Drive?" she asked incredulously.

"It would seem so," Remus said quietly. Sirius was pale as a ghost. Meanwhile, Albus was shaking, absolutely enraged.

"Where the hell was Mundungus?" he shouted, anger flaring in his eyes.

Cecilia's head snapped around to look at Albus. She had seen him angrybefore, but NEVER had she heard him curse. EVER. Apparently, neither had anyone else, because the room became deadly silent.

"Nobody knows, Albus," said Arthur timidly. "I suppose he wasn't there."

"THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE!" Albus bellowed, and Cecilia shrank back slightly in her chair. "WHAT IF SOMETHING HAD HAPPENED TO HIM? EVERYTHING WOULD BE LOST!" Albus's hair practically crackled with electricity, and Cecilia swore she could see steam emanating from his ears.

"I'm leaving now to go to the Ministry," Arthur ventured. "It would be most helpful if you were to come with me, as they're requesting he attend a disciplinary hearing in ten days."

Albus took a deep breath, trying to calm himself. "This is absolutely absurd. But what frightens me even more is that there were Dementors there in the first place. This cannot be a good sign of things to come," he whispered. He and Arthur immediately left the table and swept out the door.

Cecilia could feel tears welling in her eyes. Remus and Sirius' faces were still white with shock. Cecilia buried her face in Remus's shoulder, warranting curious glances from several people at the table.

"Remus," Cecilia whispered. "What if something happened to him? I wouldn't be able to bear it. I've just come here now to see him, and what if he was taken away from me? You won't let that happen, will you?" she asked, tears flowing down her face.

Remus took her chin in his hand. "I will not allow _anything_ to happen to him. I care for him, too. As long as there is a breath left in my body, I will be protecting that boy."

"As will I," Cecilia whispered, resting her head on Remus's shoulder, an action that probably seemed almost intimate to everyone at the table, but to Cecilia, was simply comforting, because, for the first time in almost fifteen years, she HAD a friend to lay her head on. She could see Sirius in the corner of her eye. His eyes were narrowed, watching them, and he looked almost...angry. _Why would he be the very least angry? _Cecilia thought. She tried to ignore him and turned her head.

* * *

The next night, Cecilia had just returned from hunting to find that Remus was standing in the front hallway, waiting for her.

"Cecilia, thank God you're back," he said hurriedly. "There is a meeting just about to start, and as a member of the Order, it's important that you attend. Come quickly."

He led her into the kitchen, finding two seats for them. Most of the witches and wizards who were not normally at Headquarters stared at her, but, by now, Cecilia was used to that. Albus cleared his throat and the room fell silent.

"As we all know, Harry was, just last night, expelled indefinitely from Hogwarts. However," Cecilia held her breath, "I have gone to the Ministry, and they have decided to withdraw their statement until he attends a hearing on August twelfth." Cecilia let out her breath with a _whoosh_. "But I was VERY concerned about the reason for Harry's expulsion. It seems that there WERE Dementors on Privet Drive, but, as of now, the Ministy is unwilling to accept that. So," Albus sighed, "at this point, we are the only ones who believe Harry's story, and, consequently, are the only ones who can keep him safe from any further harm, something which Mundungus here seems to have trouble with." Albus shot a pointed glare at a short, drunken-looking wizard, who, wisely, decided not to say anything. He looked around, and, seeing Cecilia giving him the same glare, immediately turned his gaze backto the table.

"Many of us here," Albus continued, "have decided that the best thing for Harry is to be here, out of harm's way. I am going to assemble a team, who, tomorrow night, will bring Harry here, where he will stay for the rest of the summer."

Cecilia smiled broadly and turned to Sirius, who looked the happiest she had seen him during her stay here.

"Cecilia and Sirius," Albus addressed both of them. "I know how much you want to help, but, giving your present situations, I'm afraid that retrieving Harry would only jeopardize your safeties. I'm sorry," Albus said, looking genuinely sad. He returned his gaze back to the rest. "If you are interested in helping, then see either myself or Remus. We appreciate all help we can get. Thank you all," he said, standing up, signaling that the meeting was over. Cecilia stayed seated, still dejected. Remus took her hand and helped her up.

"It is for the best, you know," he said.

"Yes, I'm know," she replied bitterly. As she turned to leave, Severus Snape walked past and pointedly bumped into her.

"Oh, hello Cecilia," he said nastily. "I didn't see you there. Fancy you being back after all this time." Cecilia glared. The only thing she and Sirius had in common now was that Severus had always hated them both. "You have a little bit of blood right here," he said, indicating where by pointing his finger to a spot on his mouth.

Cecilia, knowing full well she had nothing there, forced a smile. "It's nice to see you too, Severus. Still torturing little children?" she asked.

"Severus," Remus stepped in. "Before you respond, remember that it's more dangerthan your life's worth to start trouble with a vampire."

Severus, ignoring Remus, looked at Sirius. "So, Cecilia, whatever did happen with you and Sirius over there?"

"None of your business," she said coolly, her eyes flaring red for a second.

"Pity, because you two were such wonderful partners in crime," Severus said, his eyes narrowed. "The two of you could find nothing better to do than to go out in the woods killing animals for your own amusement at night, hm?"

Cecilia, having had enough, bared her fangs and hissed. "DO NOT BRING SIRIUS INTO THIS!" she screamed, forgetting for the moment that Sirius was still in the room. All eyes turned towards her. Severus took a step back, fear in his eyes.

Remus hurriedly grabbed her arm. "He's not worth it, Cecilia. Let's get out of here." He led her through the doorway and out of the house.

They walked down the street aimlessly, neither of them speaking for the longest time.

"I hate Severus," Cecilia said.

"I know," Remus answered.

"He doesn't understand anything that doesn't involve potions," she said.

"I know. But he's worth nothing. You need to control your temper, Cecilia. Did you see everyone in that room when you started screaming? Even Severus was afraid, and that's saying something. If you lose control again when Harry is here, he'll be afraid of you too."

"But, Remus, you don't understand-"

"I can never expect to," he said. "I have no idea what you were thinking about for fourteen years while you were in the United States. I don't know what was going through your or Sirius's heads when you left. But I do know that you have another chance to make things right with him. And you have another chance to see Harry." He stopped walking and turned to face her. "I think that it would be in your best interests to talk to Sirius."

"That's out of the question, Remus. He doesn't even want to look at me, much less talk to me. I can't, and that's final." She turned around and began walking back towards Number 12. Remus followed her.

"You will change your mind soon," he said.

"I-I don't think so," she replied, a tone of finality in her voice. They remained silent as they entered the house again, and Cecilia, not willing to face anyone else tonight, simply went to bed.


	7. The Pictures

Cecilia could barely sleep at all the next day. Having locked herself in her room the night before, she had slept, although very little, then. Forcing herself to stay in bed only because she knew the sun would kill her, she lay on her back, not daring to peek out of the heavy black curtains that Remus had retrieved from her hotel room around noon. He had knocked quickly on her door, and when she had gone to answer it, had found only her remaining bags and the curtains sitting in the hallway.

She waited paitently until she was absolutely certain that the sun had gone down, then left her room and practically flew down the steps and into the kitchen. She had impeccable timing- the group of witches and wizards assigned to bring Harry to Number 12 for the rest of the summer were assembled around the large wooden table, many of them unfamiliar faces, but they had grown somewhat accustomed to seeing her around the house by now. Still, they seemed almost afraid of her, and none had tried to introduce themselves. They sat exchanging uncomfortable glances, apparently waiting for something. Cecilia spied Sirius leaning in his usual place against the wall, a surly expression on his face, obviously VERY unhappy about not being able to retrieve his godson from his personal prison. He didn't look at Cecilia. She sighed softly, and grabbed a seat in a corner. She surveyed the room more thoroughly this time and saw Alastor Moody telling a story to a short witch with black hair. He paused slightly, excused himself, and walked over to stand next to Cecilia, leaning on the wall in a manner reminiscent of Sirius, and stared straight ahead.

"How have you been, Cecilia?" he growled.

"I've been all right, Alastor," she said conversationally. He turned so that he was facing her.

"How have you REALLY been?" he said, kinder this time.

"If you really must know, I haven't been QUITE all right. But I've made it this far, haven't I?"

"That's very true, my girl. I was just asking, because I...I know that James and Lily's deaths weighed heavily on you especially. It's been lonely without you for all these years. You missed out on a lot of things...quite a bit of excitement last year in particular." Before Alastor could elaborate, the door creaked open, and Remus entered the room. He cleared his throat.

"Albus has just sent the word that we are to leave in ten minutes. Please make any last preparations, and if you need to go over any details of the plan again, do not hesitate to ask. Thank you." He saw Cecilia and smiled, walking over to her and nodding politely to Alastor. Moody, taking the hint, nodded back at the two of them andreturned, limping,to the table.

"How are you, Cecilia?" he asked earnestly. "After last night, I was worried."

"You shouldn't have been." Remus, noticing the look in Cecilia's eyes that told him to drop it, wisely did just that.

"Are you excited about seeing Harry again?" he asked.

Cecilia looked up at him, a small smile on her face. "Do you really need to ask, Remus?"

"I suppose not!" he said, laughing. His face grew serious. "Listen, you know that if I could bring you with tonight to help us, I would. I just-"

Cecilia held a finger up to his lips. "Shhh. I completely understand. It's all right."

"Are you sure?" he questioned.

"Positive. Now, if I'm not mistaken, you need to go fetch Harry," she said, pointing towards the door.

"My God, you're right! We have to leave!" he said hurriedly, rushing towards the door. She grabbed his arm and stopped him.

"You bring that boy back alive, Remus," she said.

"With Alastor trying to protect him, we'll probably all end up dead," he joked. He grinned, told everybody that they were leaving, and exited the room, everyone else following him. Soon thedining roomwas empty except for Sirius and Cecilia.

Cecilia thought about what Remus had told her last night. Should she try to talk to him? She wanted to so badly, but at the same time felt like she wasn't even worthy of him listening to her. She deserved nothing from him. She had made a mistake, and now she was afraid she was going to have to pay for it for the rest of her life. She took a deep breath, and making up her mind, cleared her throat softly. "Um, Sirius?"

He completely ignored her. A few more moments of silence filled the room before he got up and left, the door slamming behind him.

Cecilia sat down and laid her head on the table. _Stupid, stupid_, she thought. Why couldn't she just realize that he didn't want to talk to her? Why? She sighed and stood up. The house was silent. Where was everyone? She expected Arthur and Molly to be around somewhere, but it didn't seem like it; they were probably out assisting with Harry's rescue in one way or another. She got up, exited the room, and walked the stairs to the hallway above. There was no sign of Sirius. Full of nervous energy, she paced the hallway. After a minute or two, a door creaked open. She stopped and turned, looking behind her. Ron's head poked out. He surveyed the hall, and jumped slightly when he saw Cecilia.

"Oh, hi. I thought everyone had left-" he started to speak, but was interrupted by a voice inside the room.

"Who is that?" somebody asked. Ronhead disappeared for a momentas hemurmured slightly, then looked back outside.

"You're welcome to come in here. We're bored out of our minds," he said warmly.

"What a coincidence," Cecilia smiled. She strode into what appeared to be somebody's bedroom- a room she had not yet been in. Hermione was sitting on the bed along with two identical boys and a girl, all with red hair. Siblings of Ron's? Ron shut the door behind them and settled himself into a chair next to the bed. Immediately, the two boys jumped up, practically falling over themselves. Cecilia was quite amused. She'd often been told she was gorgeous, but had never believed it herself. Obviously, these boys must've disagreed with her.

"I don't believe we've met," one of the boys asked.

"I'm Fred Weasley and this is my brother George," his twin said. Cecilia could see Hermione and the girl on the bed collapsing in fits of silent giggles. Ron looked quite embarrassed.

"It's an absolute pleasure, boys," she replied. "I'm Cecilia Rigby."

"Would you like to sit down?" Fred asked. Without waiting for Cecilia's reply, he took her elbow and led her over to the bed, sitting her down. The two, still standing, stared at her in absolute silence for a few moments. Feeling very uncomfortable, Cecilia looked over her shoulder at the red-haired girl.

"Who are you?" she asked, smiling.

Hermione spoke up. "This is Ginny Weasley. Ron's sister. She's entering her fourth year at Hogwarts. And, since those two lovesick boys there have temporarily lost the capability to speak, they are also Ron's brothers, both of whom are entering their seventh year at the school." Fred and George looked slightly abashed, their faces turning bright red. Cecilia figured she'd better say something.

"Boys," she looked up at them, "I am a vampire. I'm the same age as Remus. It would never work. I'm sorry." The sooner she burst their bubble, the better. Their eyes widened slightly, then they looked at each other, backing away. "Relax," Cecilia said hurriedly. "I'm not going to hurt you." She looked at Hermione. "Do you know where Sirius is?"

"I don't know. Probably upstairs with Buckbeak. He spends a lot of time with that hippogriff lately," the girl answered. She looked curiously at Cecilia. "But I have some things I'd like to ask you."

"I imagined so," Cecilia said truthfully. "What is it you wish to know?" Hermione looked slightly taken aback, surprised that Cecilia so readily agreed to answer questions.

"Well," she said, off-guard for a second or two, while she gathered up her courage. All eyes in the room were upon the two of them. "Why exactly does Sirius hate you so much?"

Cecilia was expecting this query. She breathed deeply. "It's a very...personal matter," she said, choosing her words carefully. "We knew each other a long time ago. In fact, we werefriends at Hogwarts. I made a mistake, something he will probably never forgive me for; something that I regret even today." Hermione seemed to know that Cecilia was unwilling to speak any more on the subject, and moved on to another question.

"If you don't mind my asking, why did you leave England fifteen years ago?"

Cecilia stared at the floor. "Well, partially because of the mistake I made, and partially because two of my best friends had just been killed by Voldemort." Everyone flinched slightly at the name. "I needed to get away from everything."

"And so that's why you're so anxious to see Harry?"

"That's part of the reason, yes. He's a person that I have been very eager to see again. The last remnant of those two friends. Their legacy." Cecilia was surprised to see tears filling Hermione's eyes. She laid her hand on top of Cecilia's quietly.

"I'm surprised to find that I...I understand. I really do." She smiled at her. Cecilia, moved by Hermione's simple speech, stared at the girl's hand, bewildered. All of a sudden, dots flashed before her eyes and she focused on Hermione's wrist. It was so pale and so soft...filled with blood. She blinked rapidly, trying to clear her thoughts. Hermione, noticing the peculiar look on the vampire's face, snatched her hand away, her brow furrowed. _Goddamn it,_ Cecilia thought, jumping up off the bed. _I need to feed._

"I- I'm sorry," she muttered, running out of the room, leaving the frightened children behind her.

* * *

Ceciliarushed out into the crisp night air. She tried to hurry in finding her meal, knowing that Remus, with Harry, could be back at any minute. Scanning the empty streets, she spied another stray cat only a few blocks from her, and she quickly made short work of it. Wiping her mouth with her hand, she practically ran back to the house, only to find that the others had not yet returned. Frustrated and bored, she tried to figure out what she could do to pass the time. She couldn't return to the children- they would undoubtedly have more awkward questions for her, which she didn't feel like answering right now. She didn't want to shut herself up in her room again- she wanted to know the second that Harry arrived. She decided on giving herself an official tour of the house, which she had not yet done.

Walking quietly past the bedroom occupied at the moment by Hermione, Ron, Ginny, Fred, and George, she made her way down the second-floor hallway. There was still no sign of Sirius. Despite the house's small appearance, Cecilia was surprised to see that it actually held many rooms. She tried to open the doors she passed, but, to her disappointment, all of them were locked. She was about to give up when she saw a small door, almost hidden, at the end of the hallway. Eagerly, she walked up to it and turned the doorknob, expecting it to be locked, but she became excited when the door opened without a sound. She stepped inside the room beyond.

It was a small room, smaller even than her's, this one barely big enough to house a bed, two dressers, and a closet. She knew immediately that this room was Sirius's. It had to be. Vampires had an exquisite sense of smell, and the man's slightly musky, distinct scent had bombarded her the second she had entered. It seemed like her body overrode her mind as she strode over to the dresser next to Sirius's bed and opened the top drawer. It was empty. What had she expected to find? But, for some reason, she did not stop. She went to the other dresser and opened the top three drawers, all empty, but when she got to the last one, she shrank back from what was inside.

Pictures. Dozens of pictures. All of her and Sirius, their untroubled faces peering up at her, smiling and waving. Unbidden tears filled Cecilia's eyes. She shuffled through the photographs, looking at every one. Some of them dated back to her first year at Hogwarts, and she was so young! She had totally forgotten how she had looked before she was bitten, when her body actually showed change. The tears flowed freely when she reached a picture buried deep underneath the other ones, of the last party she and Sirius had ever been to...

She was so engrossed in the photographs that she did not hear footsteps coming up the hallway, nor did she hear them stop in the room's doorway. All of a sudden, she felt icy cold, and sensed somebody standing behind. She dropped the picture and slowly turned around, fearing the worst...

...Which she got. Sirius. _Goddammit,_ she cursed mentally. He was simply standing there, his face scarlet and his eyes aglow with suppressed rage. She rose slowly. He simply stayed that way for a few moments, and she could feel his emotions roll off him like waves: first, for a reason Cecilia couldn't comprehend, sadness; then confusion; then pure anger.

"Get. Out." He hissed between his teeth in a low, dangerous voice.

Cecilia, not daring to look at him, slowly sidled past and out into the hallway, hearing the door slam behind her. She paused for a second to take a shaky breath, then dashed into her bedroom, throwing herself facedown on the bed. She felt her racing heart begin to slow down. How could she possibly have been so stupid as to forget that Sirius was still in the house? She took several more deep breaths and turned to lay on her back. She was puzzled, however. Why did he still have all those pictures of the two of them? Did he still-

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the front door opening. She sprinted out of the room and to the landing, peering into the foyer. She sighed unhappily. It was simply Arthur and Molly, back from God-knows-where. Hurrying back, she spotted Sirius's head poking out of his room at the end of the hallway, having also heard the door. When he saw her, his head disappeared and the door slammed again.

Exasperated, Cecilia flopped back on her bed and lay there, staring at the ceiling. There was a knock at the door, but she turned on her side and ignored it, not knowing or caring who it was. She stayed there, losing track of time, until she heard the doorbell ring, followed by the loud wailings of a woman. Cecilia sat bolt upright.

She heard Sirius' footsteps dash down the hall past her bedroom. She flew up and threw open the door. The screaming came from a portrait in the hallway, and she could see Sirius struggling to close the heavy curtains surrounding it. What was more interesting, though barely audible, was the sound of the foyer door opening and many sets of footsteps moving around downstairs. Cecilia smiled. That could only mean one thing.

Harry was here.


	8. At Last

DISCLAIMER: This next chapter contains very small snippets of "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix," which I acknowledge was written and conceived by J.K. Rowling.

I'm really sorry I haven't updated in forever...I've been EXTREMELY busy! As always, enjoy the chapter and PLEASE, I AM BEGGING YOU, REVIEW! I will give you cookies, I swear it!

* * *

As Cecilia watched, Sirius closed the curtains with a grunt and ran down the stairs. Cecilia tried to calm herself and then followed almost on his heels, but being careful to maintain a safe distance. When she reached the landing, she stopped. She had been so excited about just SEEING Harry that she had never thought about what to SAY to him. She couldn't just walk up and go, 'Hello, Harry, my name is Cecilia Rigby, and I'm a vampire. Your parents and I were great friends once!' She wanted to tell him how incredible it was to see him again, how much he meant to her, explain to him exactly why she had felt the need to pick up and leave all those years ago...but she didnt know how to.

Her heart raced as she peered down over the railing. She could catch a small glimpse of witches and wizards walking around, but she didn't see anyone who could be Harry. Suddenly, a door creaked open behind her and Cecilia hid herself in the shadows as Ginny walked out and into another room in the hallway. There were a few moments of silence, and then slow footsteps started coming up the stairs. Cecilia jumped and looked around anxiously- what should she do? She jumped up and ran back to her room. She stood with her back leaning against the door, breathing heavily, her mind racing at a thousand miles an hour. Listening closely, she heard sounds of excited voices came from the bedroom with the children in it. Had Harry gone in there to greet his friends?

All of a sudden, a male voice shouted angrily. Was it Harry? She wanted horribly to go and check, but her legs felt attached to the floor. _What's wrong with me?_, she thought. _I've been waiting for this day for almost fifteen years...why am I so afraid now?_ She took a deep breath. It was now or never.

She opened the door as quietly as possible and tiptoed down to the other bedroom door. Putting her ear to it, she could make out snippets of conversation:

"Shame. I really fancied finding out what Snape's been up to." Was that one of the twins?

"Snape? Is he here?" came another voice. It was an unfamiliar one- Harry? And as she thought it, she knew almost at once that it was him. It was like hearing the words come out of James's own mouth. The voices were disturbingly similar.

"Yeah. Giving a report. Top secret."

The children continued talking, but Cecilia was no longer listening. At this moment, she truly realized who this was. Harry Potter. The son of two of her former best friends. She took a deep breath. _This is it. _She turned the doorknob slowly, slowly, and pushed the door open only an inch or two. She bent down and put an eye to the crack. She could see only a few vague figures moving back and forth past the door, but then her eye caught a person standing next to the bed. Cecilia gasped audibly. It was Harry.

The first thing she noticed was his face. Such a smooth, pale complexion, with eyes that could have been taken right out of Lily's sockets...that tousled, brown hair so like James's. A pale, lightning-bolt scaron his forehead marred his otherwise handsome face. _From where Voldemort's curse hit him_. She swallowed uneasily as she drank in the sight of him like blood. Harry was about medium height for a boy his age, but he stood as though he bore a huge weight on his shoulders. _Well, what can you expect from a boy who knows that Voldemort's out to kill him?_, she thought. _And Dumbledore has not even yet told him about the prophecy..._then she suddenly understood, and it was like she ran headlong into a brick wall.

_He has seen death._

_Whathashappened to him?_ she thought, horrified.

All of a sudden, she was aware of a person standing behind her. She turned around, startled, but it was only Ginny, standing there with her arms crossed and a small smile on her face. She seemed not the least bit frightened of the vampire.

"Why do you hide out here? We all know you're excited to see Harry. Let's go inside," she said, gently grabbing her arm. Cecilia was scared to death and could easily have overpowered the girl, but she letGinny lead her slowly into the room.

* * *

She could not take her eyes off of Harry as Ginny let go of her arm when they stopped inside the door.

The young redhead grinned. "Oh, hello, Harry! I thought I heard your voice." Harry nodded, acknowledging her, but his eyes never strayed from Cecilia.

"Who's that?" he asked, bewildered.

When Hermione noticed Cecilia was too overcome to speak, she said, "This, Harry, is Cecilia Rigby. She's a member of the Order, and a vampire. She looks to be fourteen, but she's actually Remus and Sirius's age." She looked at Cecilia. "How old did you say you were, again?"

Cecilia couldn't talk, staring at Harry as if under a spell. Harry seemed rather unsettled by the news and backed up slightly. She walked up in front of him and knelt, taking his hand. Harry's eyes widened in alarm.

"Harry-" she managed to choke out. "I was great friends with your parents. Best friends, in fact. I haven't seen you since before they died. I'm so sorry I haven't been here for you. I've missed you- so much..." And she started to sob, right there on the floor, floodgates opening in her eyes and draining down her cheeks.

* * *

Harry was slightly frightened by the sudden opening of the door, but eased up when he realized it was only Ginny. But wait- who was that with her? She appeared to be a year or two younger than him, but there was an unmistakable aura of somebody wise beyond their years surrounding her. Her skin was sallow like Snape's, with a face containing deep brown eyes that were oddly blank and bright red lips. She had long black hair that hung loose and curling around her slight shoulders. She was not very tall, aboutthe same height as Ginny.

Harry nodded in greeting, but he was still confused about the other girl's presence.

"Who's that?" he asked. The girl was looking at him with a very strange expression on her face, somewhere between deep sadness and extreme glee. He could see tears beginning to well in her eyes.

Hermione spoke. "This, Harry, is Cecilia Rigby. She's a member of the Order, and a vampire. She looks to be fourteen, but she's actually Remus and Sirius's age. How old did you say you were?" she queried, now talking to Cecilia.

Harry eyes widened in fear. A vampire? He had never seen one before! Would she hurt him? He backed away slightly, scared. The vampire, however, walked towards him, either not knowing or not caring about his fear. Suddenly, she knelt at his feet and grabbed his hand. Harry recoiled slightly from her cold skin, but felt compelled to stay where he stood.

Listening to Cecilia's sobbing confessions, Harry felt his heart breaking. She was friends with my parents? He felt slightly dazed by the whole thing, and he couldn't help but believe what she was saying. That she really WAS sorry.

* * *

Harry looked down at her in wonder and shock for a few moments. Then slowly, ever so slowly, he eased down to the floor and moved his face close to hers.

"I...I forgive you," he murmured after what seemed like an eternity. Cecilia smiled through her tears and the two of them melted together in a hug which neither one wanted to let go of.


	9. It's Only GoodBye

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters in this FanFic except Cecilia Rigby, blah de blah…

I apologize for not updating in such a long time, but the more reviews I get, the faster I will update! Hint hint...

* * *

Cecilia stared up at the ceiling, lying on her bed.Harry had just left for the Hogwarts Express, and already she missed him slightly. What was she going to do, now that she was forced to be alone with Sirius for long periods of time? She decided not to think about that at the moment and instead think about the events of the last few weeks…

She had had no trouble at all becoming comfortable with Harry; if nobody had known any better, it would've seemed like the two of them had been inseparable since the boy's birth. He spent the days with Ron and Hermione and then he and Cecilia stayed up late almost every night, talking, Harry about all that she had missed (which was, in essence, everything), and Cecilia about his parents and her friendship with them. Harry had even been spending less and less time with his godfather in favor of her, Cecilia couldn't help noticing smugly, and Sirius had seemed to notice too. He spent most of his time now with Buckbeak, or sulking downstairs in the kitchen.

Harry, after a great deal of nervous hoping and praying on everyone's part, had managed to walk away from the hearing being able to return to Hogwarts when this year's term began. Cecilia could remember the moment she found out- she had been in the kitchen with almost everyone else, reading at the table, anxiously awaiting Harry's return, when he walked into the room.

"Harry, how did it go?" she asked, immediately dropping the book and looking at him, eyes wide with fear and apprehension, and the whole atmosphere in the room seemed charged as everyone stared at him too.

A smile stretched slowly across his face. "Cleared of all charges!" he said excitedly.

"I knew you would beat it!" Cecilia shouted happily, running to him and enveloping him in a bear hug. As Harry returned the hug, the vampire couldn't help but notice he was shaking…

She remembered how gloomy Sirius had seemed after hearing the news; she expected him to be happy for his godson, but she realized eventually that he had hoped Harry would be convicted and therefore able to stay with him. _Very selfish of him,_ she couldn't help thinking.

Things settled into a lazy pattern of sleeping, hunting, and having long discussions with Harry for the rest of the summer, and she was absolutely content. With a jolt she had realized yesterday that it was the last day of his vacation, and the next day he would be going back to Hogwarts.

There was a party to congratulate Ron and Hermione on becoming prefects, but Cecilia missed it, seeing as it was in the late afternoon and she was sleeping. Besides, meeting with Harry one last time that night, she could tell that he was quite displeased about not receiving the honor, even though he tried to convince himself he wasn't; others might not've been aware of it, but she, with her heightened senses, could almost smell regret, sadness, and just a hint of loathing on him. She knew he would never admit it to her or anyone else, though, and was content to let him believe that she couldn't tell how he was feeling. After a few last reminisces, she realized that it was getting quite late and she would have to say her good-bye to Harry soon.

She struggled mentally with a piece of information that she had been keeping from him over the summer. _Should I tell him?_ she thought._ Will he hate me for not telling him sooner? Then again, what if I never get the chance to see him again? How will I feel if something happens and he'd never have known? _She figured that nothing would happen, but maybe she should tell him anyway.

Harry looked tired, and Cecilia said, "Maybe you should get some sleep. You do have a big day ahead of you."

He smiled. "That sounds like a good idea." She could see a thought flitter across his face. "Cecilia?"

"Yes, Harry?"

He nervously wrung his hands. "There's something I've always wanted to ask you."

"What is it?" she asked, half dreading his question.

Harry hesitated a moment before asking, "Why is it that you and Sirius won't speak to each other?"

Her heart plummeted in her chest. She knew that this day would eventually come, but she didn't feel like she was adequately prepared to handle it.

"I mean," Harry continued, looking slightly nervous, "I asked him about it once, and he got this weird look on his face and wouldn't speak to me at all afterwards. What happened between you two?"

_Tell him, _a voice said inside her head.

_No, I can't, _another voice said back. _I can't do it._

_But you have to,_ the first voice replied. _You'll feel better after you do. I promise._

"Well, uh, Harry," she started tentatively, fumbling for an answer she knew wouldn't come. "I don't really know where to begin. Um…uhh…" Before she could say any more, a knock came on the door. Remus stuck his head inside.

"Harry, have you any idea what time it is? You're going to look like a zombie tomorrow if you don't get some sleep soon."

Harry turned back to Cecilia, still looking slightly hopeful about hearing an explanation from her.

"That," Cecilia said gently, making up her mind, "is a story for some other time. When I am fully ready to tell it." She hugged him. "You be careful this year, Harry. If something were to happen to you, I don't know what I would do. Stay out of trouble. I know it'll be difficult, but you must, for your own good."

"I'll try," he said softly as Cecilia let go of him.

"And keep in touch, all right?" she asked. "Or else I might miss you too much."

Harry smiled and turned to leave, but Cecilia interrupted him.

"Remember, it's only good-bye. I'll see you soon."

Harry waved and left the room. Remus held the door for him and then walked over to her.

"I couldn't help but accidentally overhear your conversation," he said in a way that made it seem like it hadn't been such an accident after all. "And I thought you might need a little help getting out of that question."

"You're a lifesaver," she replied, grinning.

His face turned serious. "When are you going to tell him? He'll need to know eventually."

She twirled a piece of hair around her finger thoughtfully, then said, "I will tell him about what happened with Sirius someday."

"No, I mean…the other matter."

She stopped twirling her hair. All of a sudden, she exploded, upset with herself, and yelled; "I knew I should've told him tonight, I fucking knew it!" She threw her hands in the air. "But I couldn't. I wanted to, and I still want to, but I'm afraid he'll hate me." Angry tears squeezed their way out of her eyes.

"Calm down, Cecilia, you know that he could never hate you." He touched her shoulder. "Just promise me that you WILL tell him."

"I promise, Remus," she said softly. "I promise."

* * *

That brought her back to today, to the present moment, lying on her bed. She regretted not having been able to see Harry leave, but it wasn't technically her fault- she had been deeply asleep. If she could've been awake, she would've. She sighed and rolled over onto her side, her mind troubled. Now that Harry was gone, her biggest concern loomed in front of her, unable to be pushed aside any longer:

How was she going to deal with Sirius?


	10. Chapter 10

DISCLAIMER: I do not own any Harry Potter-related business, you all know the drill by now...

Just felt I'd comment on the awesomeness of HPB...it ROCKS! GO BUY IT NOW!

As always, read and review!

* * *

Cecilia spent the next two weeks in a melancholy mood, leaving her room only to hunt. For some reason, everything depressed her. She wished Harry was still here, and with a jolt realized that she was probably feeling the same way Sirius had been, and now found herself being more and more able to identify with why he had been so upset when he found out Harry could no longer stay at Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place. Remus came to visit her in the early evenings as frequently as he possibly could (excluding the full moon), but this still meant that she was alone often, and therefore forced to spend much of the time thinking. She confessed a lot of her thoughts (most of which had to do with Sirius) to Remus.

"Does he ever talk about me at all, Remus?" she asked him one day as they sat next to each other on her bed.

"I try to bring you up in conversation every so often, but he doesn't seem all that willing to talk about you." He sighed. "Very honestly, I can't blame him."

Cecilia's eyes flashed and she sat up as tall as she possibly could in her fourteen year-old body. "Whose side are you on?"

"It's not so much a question of whose side I'm on, Cecilia," he said, "but more of a question of whose side I can sympathize with. You are and have always been one of my closest friends, and I love you dearly, but what you did to Sirius left him ruined. I don't really understand what made you do what you did, which, in fact, only you truly do, because you left right afterwards and distanced yourself from all of us. But I was the one who had to witness what exactly the aftermath was, so I can truly sympathize more with Sirius and understand his actions."

Cecilia slumped back against the wall, breathing deeply. "I can't say that I don't understand what you're saying. But it's definitely not doing anything to make me feel better about all this."

"I don't think you _will_ feel better until you talk to him."

"I want to, Remus!" she exclaimed. "All I want to do is tell him how sorry I am and try and explain myself, but I know he won't listen to me! He's a proud man, and proud men never easily forgive. And I must admit that I'm somewhat afraid of him, of his rage! I have no chance."

Remus started speaking hesitantly as he ran his hand slowly, thoughtfully through his hair. "I- have a plan, I think, that will maybe get the two of you talking again. But you have to promise me that you'll let me do whatever it'll take to mend your broken relationship."

Cecilia closed her eyes as she felt a headache coming on. "You can do whatever you want, Remus. I just want to end this fight. I _hate_ fighting with him."

* * *

Later that night, for the first time since Harry had left, Cecilia decided to go down into the kitchen. She didn't know why exactly, but she figured a change of scenery would probably do her good. It was around one o'clock in the morning and it seemed, as she walked down the steps, that everyone was asleep. She had no clue how many members of the Order actually stayed in the house during the year, but she was relieved to remember that, since Snape was a teacher at Hogwarts, she wouldn't run into him at all. She remembered their last encounter with more than slight distaste.

Remembering Snape also brought Albus back into her mind, and she thought about something that she had not thought about in a while- why exactly had he brought her here? She knew it was mostly for her own protection, but he had also mentioned in passing that there was a job she needed to do. What was it? He had never told her! The matter left her mind, however, when she walked into the kitchen and found Remus, oddly, still awake, and waiting for her, it appeared.

"Hello, Remus," she said, a slightly confused smile on her face. "You're up late."

"I've talked to Sirius," he said quietly. Cecilia felt her heart skip a beat.

"You have?"

"Yes. I explained some things to him, and he said that he might be willing to talk to you. He's up in his room and he said that he wouldn't mind if you were to go up now."

"Are you- are you _sure?_" All of this seemed almost too good to be true!

"Positive." He beamed. "You gave me permission to do all I could to help you both, and I have. I think it would be a smart move if you were to take advantage of it and go up to see him."

Cecilia ran and giddily hugged him. "I don't think I'll ever be able to repay you!" Almost unconsciously, she kissed his cheek and ran up the stairs, her black dress flowing behind her.

When she reached Sirius's room, she hesitated for a moment because the door was closed. She took several deep breaths, trying to calm herself and form some coherent sentences in her head to say to him. She knew that if she took the time to stop and think about things now, she would never get the courage to actually go inside his room, so she steeled herself, knocked once on the door, and walked right in. Sirius was sitting on his bed, flipping through a photo album, his dark hair falling in his face. He turned around and, seeing it was her, quickly shoved the album into his bedside dresser.

"What are _you_ doing here?" he growled menacingly, his black eyes fixed on her.

Cecilia was confused. "But- but- didn't Remus? He said that- wait a second." She stopped and cocked her head. A creak sounded from the hallway behind her. As she turned, the door to Sirius's room slammed shut and there was a click. She practically flew to the door and tried to leave, but she found it to be locked.

"REMUS!" she screamed, trying to practically rip the door off its hinges as Sirius shouted incoherently, outraged, behind her.

She heard Remus's voice reply softly from the other side of the door. "Again, Cecilia, you gave me permission to do all I could to help you, and this is what I decided would work. Now you two have no choice but to talk."

"LET ME OUT!" she shouted hoarsely.

"Not until you two say all you have to, and you two DEFINITELY have a lot to say. I would suggest you start talking, because I'll let you out as soon as you two have resolved your differences. Good night," he said, and Cecilia heard his footsteps grow fainter and fainter as he walked away.

"_No, Remus!_" she yelled, though she was almost positive he could no longer hear her.

She turned around slowly, exhausted and beaten, and tried to figure out what the hell she should do next.


	11. We Can Work It Out

DISCLAIMER: Blah blah blah…

BTW, there's an allusion to a Beatles' song in the chapter title…I love the Beatles!

* * *

The silence in the room was heavy. Sirius was staring at her with pure hatred in his eyes, so Cecilia tried her best to avoid his gaze. She walked over to a rocking chair in the far corner and sat in it, her head in her hands. Sirius sat on his bed without a word, his back to her. 

This was the absolute worst scenario Cecilia could possibly think of. Stuck in a small room with a man who, it appeared, might possibly want her dead. How could she have been so stupid as to fall for Remus's trick? There was no way he could've convinced Sirius to talk to her _that_ quickly. In her eagerness to believe that Sirius actually might want to discuss their situation with her, she had demonstrated an unbelievable lack of common sense. She wanted to kill Remus at this very moment. When she got out of this room, it would take all her self-restraint to not rip out his throat…

She fought the urge to start sobbing. She had envisioned that when she got Sirius to talk to her again, it was because he wanted to, not because he was forced to. She sighed heavily.

Cecilia did not know how long she and Sirius sat there, not speaking to each other, not looking at each other. It could've been five minutes; it could've been five hours. Cecilia decided that she should at least try to say _something_. She cleared her throat softly and half-whispered, "Sirius?"

"Don't even talk to me," he answered in a voice dripping with malice, not even turning to look at her. Half to himself, he added, "I'm going to kill Remus."

"Well, at least that's one thing we agree on," she said before she even realized she had opened her mouth. It appeared that, somehow, she had offended Sirius, because he turned around and glared at her.

"None of this is my fault, Cecilia," he said. "None of this is my fault, so don't try and make it seem like it is."

"I'm not," she protested quietly. "I know none of this is your fault. That's what I've been trying to tell you ever since I got here. I know that I was wrong."

"I don't want to talk about this!" he exclaimed. "I have spent the last decade trying to totally forget about you, and then you come back and you want to _apologize_? You think you can do it just like that? Do you even have any idea what you've done to me?" Sirius stood up and looked at her with his hands on his hips.

"I see what Azkaban's done to you," she replied, keeping her voice steady, although she was shaking. "But what I've done to you is not so plain, because you won't talk to me."

Sirius exploded. "YOU CAN'T SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO ME?"

Cecilia suddenly remembered Harry describing the first time he had met Sirius face-to-face, in the Shrieking Shack, how he had said he had looked and acted like a complete raving lunatic. Seeing him this way, now, she had no trouble believing it. Had she caused this?

"You left me in Azkaban!" he shouted. "You fucking LEFT me there! You have no idea how horrible it is in that place! You're in there with NOTHING. No happiness, no joy, no hope, nothing! I needed you more than anything else, but you left me there!"

Cecilia was starting to get angry. "I've been trying to apologize and explain things to you ever since I arrived here, and you haven't wanted to hear a word of it from me or Remus!"

"Can you blame me, Cecilia?" His voice dropped slightly. "Well, now that we're fucking LOCKED in this room together, why don't you go ahead and say all you've been meaning to say? Because I'm SURE you have a completely understandable reason for letting me rot in Azkaban," he said sarcastically, anger burning in his eyes and coming off of him in waves. It was almost unbearable.

Cecilia couldn't help herself. She started to cry softly. She wasn't sure exactly why. Maybe it was a combination of fright and guilt, regret and sadness. But she was crying nonetheless. "Sirius, I was stupid, and I know it," she began, but he cut her off.

"I LOVED YOU! I loved you more than anything else in the world, and you abandoned me when I needed you the most! How can you possibly say anything to make me feel better, to want to forgive you? Because I'm certainly not feeling very generous in that respect right now."

Cecilia took a deep breath that caught in her throat. "All I can think to tell you is that I'm sorry."

"Why did you leave me? That's what I really want to know. Did you think about me at all while you were over in America? Because I've had no choice but to think about you for all those years. Did you regret it at all?" he said as he sank back down on the bed, and his voice was small, so helpless, that she began to cry again with renewed vigor, making it difficult for her to speak.

"Of course I regret it! You were the best thing that ever happened to me! We were going to be married in two days, for fuck's sake! But when I heard about what happened in that street, with all those Muggles, and with Peter, I didn't know what to think. I was so naïve, and I know it now. I had complete faith in the Ministry. I figured that they must've had a good reason for arresting you. I was frightened and heartbroken. Lily and James, two of my best friends, had just died! And besides that, everyone was telling me that that you caused it!

I was never as strong as you were, Sirius, never, and I had a complete breakdown. I had no idea what to think anymore. The discovery that my fiancé had apparently betrayed two of my friends, who had a small child, nonetheless, and murdered another in cold blood, was more than I could handle. When the one person that I thought could help me cope with these things was the one person who had caused them, I had no idea what to do. I came to say good-bye to you in Azkaban, and then I packed my bags and left, because I couldn't stay here with all the horrible memories anymore. I felt that not only had you betrayed Lily and James, you had betrayed me as well. I know now that I was wrong, and Sirius, I wish to God that I could go back and change things, but I can't, and I'm sorry."

After a long silence, Sirius spoke quietly. "I needed you. I thought that you, no doubt, would've believed in my innocence, even when nobody else would. But when you left me, I had nothing else. I hated you so much, because I thought you, the woman I loved, would've trusted me. And you didn't."

Cecilia answered just as softly. "I was stupid. Like I said, I was never strong, either. All of these things, piled on top of each other, were too much for me. I loved you, and I- I still do, but I couldn't stand to be near you, if you can understand that."

There was a long silence. Cecilia stared resolutely at the wall, a million thoughts racing through her head. After a few minutes, she stole a look at Sirius and saw, to her surprise, that he was crying.

It looked like he was trying to speak, his mouth opening, but then it would close back up again. Tears rolled down his sunken cheeks. Finally, he murmured, "I'm sorry, too."

"What are you sorry about?"

"I never even tried to see things from your point of view, never tried to see how everything must've looked to you. I realize now that if you had been put in Azkaban and blamed for James and Lily's murders…" He trailed off and shuddered slightly, then finished: "I would've done the exact same thing you did." He looked her in the eye. "But do you now understand why I've been the way I have since you got here? You understand, right?" There was a pleading, helpless look in his eyes, and it seemed like all he wanted was for her to understand this. And she did.

"I do understand. I'm sorry. I'll say it as many times as it takes for you to forgive me."

Sirius stopped crying gradually and stared at her. Without his vision clouded by hate, she could see in his eyes traces of the handsome man she had loved. She got up and sat next to him on the bed, no longer afraid. He turned to her, and she _really _saw him for the first time since she had arrived. After a moment, she put her arms around him and hugged him. He hesitated at first, but returned the gesture, his arms tight around her. _I'm really gonna get sick of hugging soon_, she thought, a small smile on her face. She felt at peace in his arms.

Cecilia let go and they stared at each other for God knows how long, when, suddenly, Sirius started to lean towards her. Panic and surprise flickered in her brain and she could barely form a coherent thought as his face loomed closer and closer, until-

"Well, that was definitely an interesting conversation," a bemused voice sounded from the hallway, outside the door. Sirius jerked back and looked around. "Remus?" he asked, bewildered.

"I'm glad you two worked out your differences," Remus answered. "Think I can let you out now?"

Cecilia stiffened, rage distorting her features. "YOU BASTARD!"


	12. Days Go By

WOOOOOO... Chapter 12 is FINALLY up! I know this story has been on hiatus for a while, sorry to all the people who have left reviews begging me to continue. But I just logged onto for the first time in a while, and realized I had written another chapter that I hadn't published. I can't promise I'm going to write a Chapter 13, but I am starting a different Fanfiction that I hope to publish in a couple days. Enjoy!

* * *

After getting over her initial rage at Remus, Cecilia realized that what he'd done was a surprisingly smart move. She and Sirius now had amazingly little trouble talking to each other, (which was good because she saw less and less of Remus and therefore had nobody else to talk to on a regular basis,) except for the occasional awkward silence when one of them would bring up James or Lily. Mostly they talked about their days at Hogwarts, reminiscing and laughing over stupid things they had done as children. 

The days flew by, because there was always something to do. Between Cecilia going out to hunt, conversations with old friends, and the constant stream of Order members in the house, she was always busy. Her cooking skills grew as she learned the recipes and cooking styles of Molly, Tonks, and Alastor (although he tended to have interestingly named concoctions, including one he titled "Something I've Been Told Death Eaters Love and Normally Anything Death Eaters Love is Bad But This is Actually Quite Good,") and she found herself fast becoming the official chef of headquarters.

Cecilia was acquiring something else, however. As time passed, she looked on Sirius with increasing fondness. She saw his flaws and weaknesses, but she was able to look past them to the man trying to mend himself within. He never mentioned Azkaban, but she saw how it had affected him in the guarded way he talked about himself sometimes, the nervous glances he threw around a room when he heard a noise, and how he could stare into space for hours at a time. She knew he would never fully forgive her for what she had caused in him, but he became less cool towards her every day. On several occasions, she caught him looking at her in a peculiar way, almost like how he had looked at her when they had been dating, after they had made love… and then she always looked away, blushing. _No,_ she always told herself. _It's over between the two of you. He could never love you again. You saw to that._

One day in late November, she was making a midnight snack for Sirius when Snape walked into the room. Sirius immediately jumped to his feet.

"What are YOU doing here?" he snarled angrily.

"I'm here on Order business," Snape sneered. "But, I assume, so are you? Oh wait," he covered his mouth in mock surprise, "silly me, I forgot, you're always confined here, aren't you? Along with your little girlfriend over there?" Sirius moved threateningly towards Snape, but Cecilia immediately dropped her spatula and placed herself in between the two men.

"Sirius, you're being ridiculous," she chided softly. "This maggot isn't worth your time." She glared at Snape, her eyes flashing red.

"I give great pleasure in saying that you two are to leave this room right now, on orders of Dumbledore," Snape smiled. "He and a few other people will join me in a few minutes for a meeting. So scram, children. And you can continue doing what I'm sure you were doing before I so rudely interrupted you." This time, Cecilia had to forcibly pull Sirius out the door and into the sitting room.

"I don't see why you didn't just help me kill him," Sirius sat down, slightly out of breath, on the couch. "You hate him as much as I do."

"That's true, but his heart is so shriveled I bet he doesn't have any blood left in his veins for me to drink." She grinned at Sirius, and he smiled back. "So have you written to Harry anytime lately? Heard from him at all?"

"Well…" Sirius paused.

"What?" Cecilia pushed.

"I have talkedtohimacoupletimesviaFlooandhe'swrittenmeacoupleletters" he mumbled.

Cecilia leapt indignantly to her feet. "Are you serious? He's contacted you all those times and hasn't even THOUGHT to write anything to me?"

"I'm sure it's nothing personal. He's just so used to writing to me that he's probably forgotten that he can do the same for you. It's not like he doesn't care about you. He's just been busy is all."

"With what?" Cecilia sighed and sat back down.

"For starters, he has to put up with that Umbridge woman" (Cecilia snorted derisively) "and he's starting something called Dumbledore's Army, where he's teaching his fellow students ways to block hexes, fight Death Eaters, do countercurses, things like that. And since Umbridge would expel him if she found out about it, it's causing a fair amount of stress."

"I understand," Cecilia explained, "but I just hope he knows that I want to help him. I want to be there for him, because I never was before." She added, half to herself, "I want to feel useful."

"But you are useful-"

"I certainly don't feel like it! Albus said he was bringing me to headquarters to help out with the Order, but all I've done since I've got here is sit around, hunt, and cook!"

Sirius shrugged. "I'm sure Dumbledore has his reasons. You know him and his ulterior motives." At that moment, the front door swung open and Dumbledore himself walked in, followed by Alastor and a few other wizards Cecilia didn't know. Dumbledore inclined his head.

"Good evening, Sirius, Cecilia," he said. Alastor waved halfheartedly. Sirius and Cecilia mumbled their greetings and the group of wizards went into the kitchen, shutting the door. Cecilia turned back to Sirius, resuming their conversation.

"But I want to help. I've had all the time in the world to sit around and feel sorry for myself. I want to be out there fighting the good fight, killing the Death Eaters, protecting Harry!" Cecilia exclaimed.

"Welcome to my world." Sirius laughed bitterly. "You're in the same boat as I am. I just take comfort in knowing that Dumbledore's probably right. If we were out there instead of in here, we'd both probably be dead by now. But I can't pretend that I won't be happy the moment I get out of this hellhole. I hate being surrounded by everything I swore I'd leave. I hate it more than anything else."

"Well," Cecilia ventured, "at least we have each other." She smiled warmly. Sirius looked at her for a moment, his face gradually matching her expression. Cecilia's tone of voice changed as she said, "I know I've said this to you so many times, but I missed you every second I was out of this country, I really did. There wasn't a moment when I wasn't thinking about you. I need you to know that I always cared about you, even when I thought you were a murderer." Sirius turned to fully face her, and they sat looking into each other's eyes. Cecilia couldn't tell whether it was minutes or hours before he leaned in towards her, and for a second Cecilia began to panic, until Sirius tilted his head upwards and gave her a light kiss on the forehead.

"That's good to know," he whispered. Getting up, he said rather brusquely, "Well, it's time for me to be getting to bed. Good night." And with that, he hurried out of the room.

Cecilia fell back against the cushions of the couch, a huge grin across her face and her mind swirling with unanswered questions.


End file.
